It’s Not Official Till It’s on Facebook
March 24th, 2009 | Categories: Relationships | 10 CommentsSay what you like about Facebook, but I know that I, as well as countless others, find out a plethora of information about my friends via that social networking site. One of the most exciting Facebook updates a friend can make is a change to their relationship status. Whenever a friend enters or ends a relationship and makes that change to their relationship status on Facebook1, there is bound to be endless speculation and gossip about the circumstances of the beginning or demise of that relationship.
I was talking to one of my friends the other day, she asked if I knew whether or not two of our friends were in a serious relationship, or if they were just friends with benefits. I told her I didn’t know as I hadn’t heard anything, and she said, “Well, I checked on Facebook, and their relationship statuses both say single, so they’re definitely not official yet.” I laughed as I heard this, because it made me think of the saying, “It’s not official till it’s on Facebook!” when talking about whether a relationship is serious or not. In some respects, it’s a load of crap, but in other respects, it’s incredibly true. One of the signs of a serious relationship is when you are able to come forward and publicly claim, “Yes, so-and-so is my boyfriend/girlfriend,” and it marks a change from the initial flirting and getting to know each other to becoming a little more serious around each other. Committing to a relationship with each other on Facebook is a sign, even if it is only a minor one, that both parties in the relationship are going to make the extra effort to be that official boyfriend/girlfriend rather than two that simply hang out and mess around whenever it’s convenient.
As much as that logic makes sense, it makes me a little sad because if I follow the theory of a relationship not being official until it gos on Facebook, then I’ve never been in an official relationship. I don’t need Facebook to tell me that though, for one reason or another all of my liaisons have been more complicated than the standard relationship and the right time to “announce” the relationship publicly has never arisen. Still, I find it very amusing, for lack of better term, whenever one of my friends puts their relationship on Facebook because it shows that there is hopefully a future for the relationship, and as long as my friends are happy with the new relationship, then I’m happy for them.
- There are seven options that you can set your relationship status to: blank (remove the relationship status altogether), single, in a relationship, engaged, married, it’s complicated, and in an open relationship. [↩]
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Hi, I'm Manda. I'm a college student studying communications and languages. I like to read, shop, bake, and travel. I have a tendency to listen to my favorite songs on repeat for hours on end. Sometimes I catch myself thinking in a language other than English. 
It’s true, though. You really have to pay attention to Facebook these days to keep ahead of the latest gossip and such. Some people manage to keep their profiles pretty quiet, though. I’m in between in my opinion of FB. While I like it a lot (and check it way more frequently than I should during the day), I keep a pretty tight hold of it. After all, it’s essentially just a big public inbox where people leave messages and occasionally unflattering photos of you!
Although Facebook is not that popular in Hungary, we sure do have our own social networking sites with the same concept. Actually, I visit those sites every half year and that’s it, so I’m not really good with them.
I’ve never really bothered to change my “single’ status to “in a relationship” since I registered and I don’t feel bad about it. I figured out after the first months that I don’t really care what others think about me, at least, not on those specific sites. If they want to ask me something (let it be, whether I’m dating someone or not, for example), they can ask me in person!
I agree that this applies to most of these sites, though. Isn’t that just sad?
Heheh I have funny story concerning this. I decided to remove my relationship status information in facebook. Not because I wasn’t in relationship anymore, just because I didn’t think it’s that important information. Soon after this I received a message from a friend of mine who said that if I want to talk about it, she’s there for me. For a second I was bit baffled and then I noticed that in my status feed or what ever it is “*broken heart* Hanna is not in relationship anymore”…
Personally I’m not that interested in the relationship statuses in FB or in other social network sites. But I can see why FB is nowadays the place where people make their relationship status public “officially”. No need to call everyone or just wait that somehow everyone will find out.
It’s funny how “Facebook official” has become apart of every language. It would be interesting to compile a dictionary of internet type words that we now use in daily life.
Whenever one of my friends changes their relationship status, they always get at least 15 comments to the effect of OMG WHO IS IT OMG TELL ME OMG CALL ME OMG FIND ME ON MSN. What you say is completely true, though – if you’re not comfortable enough to put it on Facebook, your relationship probably isn’t that serious.
Personally, I am listed as engaged to my best friend. :P
I’m always amused when girls who are engaged/married to their best friend delete that status to get into an “official” relationship with a boyfriend :P
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