Comments on: Inviting Yourself

By: Ashley

Ashley — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 18:45:21 +0000

I agree that it’s ridiculous and I never do it myself – if I do want to go somewhere, I’ll ask, and I can count on my friends to be honest enough if they want to just chill by themselves. The people on my dorm floor are pretty much all friends with each other aside from a few little things here and there, so it’s obvious that we have a LOT of smaller group get-togethers. Occasionally, my roommate will get upset with me if I don’t invite her somewhere when my boyfriend and best friend and I go out (which I don’t understand, really, as she’s not close with my boyfriend OR my best friend), but it seems people are usually pretty understanding.

We’ll see how it goes when I get out in to the real world :P

By: Manda

Manda — Sat, 20 Mar 2010 13:53:58 +0000

They crashed your WEDDING?! Oh my. It’s one thing to crash a simple get together like going to the movies, but inviting yourself to a wedding is a whole different level of gatecrashing!

By: Jen

Jen — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 00:26:37 +0000

I never invite myself to events — I’m terrified of what they’d think of me, and the fact that I might be interrupting their ‘alone-with-special friends’ time. People who invite themselves along, similarly annoy me, especially people who think they’re more well-liked than they actually am.

By: Katy

Katy — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 22:11:26 +0000

I can’t stand it when people invite themselves to events too! I’ve never done that and never will.

I know what you mean about the huge groups thing; it takes my girlfriends and I FOREVER just to get together for a simple dinner because there are so many of us and we’re all super busy.

By: Diana

Diana — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 21:08:18 +0000

Luckily, I don’t have that problem much, but I remember my aunt used to come over uninvited ALL THE TIME. My family doesn’t think it’s a big deal if you come over without an invitation, but you must call first. My aunt and her family NEVER called. We haven’t kept in communication, but I wouldn’t put it past her to show up tomorrow, just for funsies.

By: Tigerlilly

Tigerlilly — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 19:32:33 +0000

BF had a similar problem. He plays badminton and the whole team sometimes do stuff together, but usually a smaller group out of that team does stuff every weekend. There was this one guy who kept inviting himself to b-day parties, movie nights and other outings. They would try and only make plans when said person wasn’t around, but somehow he would still get wind of the activity and show up, unwanted.

Finally BF just sat him down and explained to him that he wasn’t part of the smaller group of friends. It sounds harsh, but he was grateful that BF was honest and open with him. Clem’s right subtle hints don’t work.

By: Deanna

Deanna — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 14:25:16 +0000

I can’t say that is really a problem I have to deal with often, if at all. If there was someone joining us that I didn’t plan on having there I will usually just make them feel welcome anyway.

I have invited myself out with people before. I only remember one instance of doing that and it was last Canada Day. But I don’t think the people I joined minded at all. In fact, I would say they were all happy to see me because I don’t get to spend that much time with them. But I can see how it would become a problem if I was to do that ALL the time.

I hope you can find a gentler way of telling your unwanted guest to go away. But in general, if you don’t want them hanging out with you (probably ever again) I would just be honest and tell them that they are not wanted. I found that being subtle doesn’t really work.

By: Alice

Alice — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 07:35:58 +0000

I really hate it and it makes me feel really uncomfortable, If someone who isn’t invited turns up at an event there was probably a reason they weren’t invited in the first place. I’m not to bothered if it is a friend of a friend or someone I don’t know so well (depending on the situation) but for a scheduled outing where you want to have a giggle and a gossip with your closest, it can be inappropriate. I’m not to bothered if someone asks to come along though, just don’t turn up unannounced.

I certainly would never just turn up somewhere, I think it looks a little desperate and is rather thoughtless.

By: Lucy

Lucy — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 00:49:44 +0000

I’ve had a cousin who invited herself to my wedding two years ago. I decided to have a small wedding, with only immediate family and friends. I knew that if I invited my family from Houston, I would wind up with a guest list of 400. As it was, the guest list was already at 150…for being something “small”. Yeah, I have a LARGE family.

Anyway, my cousin got wind of when the wedding was (probably thanks to my loudmouth sister, who also thought it was okay to invite fifty extra people at the last minute, grr). So she drove down with her family and crashed my wedding.

At least she had the decency to bring a gift.

By: Manda

Manda — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 21:00:50 +0000

What if it’s an implicit invitation? :P