Living in the “Now”

I’ve always had an issue with spending too much time thinking about the future rather than enjoying the present. I attribute this habit to the fact that I moved around a lot as a kid; as soon as I was settled into one place it was time to move again to the next. A lot of it also stems from the fact that I like planning ahead and being in control. I have some “control freak” tendencies and hate being in a position where I feel absolutely helpless to do anything.

While it’s not necessarily a bad thing to meticulously plan my future, it does mean I miss out on a lot of the “now” stuff. When I transferred high schools (and moved overseas!) my junior year, I always thought, “Well, in two years I’ll be out of this school and into college anyway.” Now, in college, I think, “Well, after this semester I’ll be abroad for a year…” Chances are, when I get my first job I’ll probably think something along the lines of, “Well, once I’m settled in at this office…” This is a pattern I need to break!

I have set one of my goals for 2010 to live in the “now” more than I do. My success with this goal has been so-so; there’s just been so much I’ve had to plan this year to ensure that future years go accordingly that not much has changed in my mentality. Still, I have about a month left of my semester. That means a month to enjoy what’s happening now rather than getting swept up in what’ll happen in future years. That means a month to enjoy my time with friends rather than dreading a year apart from them. And that means a month to enjoy being a crazy college kid when I still can rather than focusing too much on growing up.

Tags: college