Potential (Future) Roommate Drama
October 19th, 2010 | Categories: Friends | 7 CommentsLast spring semester, I agreed to room with one of my good friends next year when I return from my year abroad. However, as the plans for our housing options became more developed and consequentially more complex, I realized that I wouldn’t feel like I’d be able to be her roommate and finish out senior year still being friends. You know those infamous roommate stories where the roommates are best friends at the beginning of the school year and hate each other by the end of the year? Yeah, I feel like that’s what would happen with us if we went through with living together.
There were a lot of other little reasons which became apparent that made me realize I wouldn’t be able to live with her and be 100% happy senior year, but the clincher was the gut feeling I had that we’d end up hating each other if we lived together. At any rate, I had to email her and let her know I couldn’t agree to be her roommate anymore. I tried to break the news to her in the nicest way possible and explained every single reasoning and train of thought I had as to why I was backing out of our plans. And all the while I was writing the email I thought to myself, “You have to speak up now, if you don’t speak up you will just regret it. You’ll always wish you had said something, however hard it might have been to say.”
Writing that email sucked. (And before I get judged for choosing email as my method of communication, please remember that I am studying in an intensive language program in Beijing. Read: I have little to no free time, a 12 hour time difference, and temperamental Internet.) But you know what’s gonna suck even more? Reading her reply. I haven’t got one yet, but I’m dreading how awful I am going to feel when I do receive it.
There’s small comfort in knowing that it was far better for me to back out of being her roommate now rather than after a lease was signed or we had moved in together. But I still feel like I’m letting her down, which is a feeling I absolutely hate.
Tags: college
Subscribe Feed (RSS)
Hi, I'm Manda. I'm a college student studying communications and languages. I like to read, shop, bake, and travel. I have a tendency to listen to my favorite songs on repeat for hours on end. Sometimes I catch myself thinking in a language other than English. 
I hope she’ll be understanding about it. It’s better to back out now, friendship still in tact, than regret it later. I don’t know if you recall, but I agreed to live with my two friends in my senior year. Before we even moved in, one of them and I had a HUGE fight about it and that spelled the end of that friendship. We pretend like nothing happened, but I know she still holds a grudge. I kind of do too though. (I was right! :P)
I do remember that, actually! And at that time I was still in high school and I was terrified of any future roommate dramas I would encounter :P
Oy, that is rough! My senior year I was supposed to live with the girls I’d lived with freshman year but during the process of finding a place, I realized that it just was not going to work out. They both had boyfriends and I was on a different schedule than they were (i.e. go to bed at 10pm, while I was out till 4am.) It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be their friends, but it clearly was not going to work. We had a tiff, drama ensued, and I ended up living with people with whom I had other issues. BUT the 2 I was supposed to live with, we ended up being friends again soon. And I swear it was best for our relationship to go with my gut and not live with them. It took time to fix it, but in the end, definitely worth it.
The point of the ramble is that you did the right thing and it’s going to be okay!
Ah yes, I completely know what you’re talking about – and that’s why I would neeever agree to live with a friend in the first place. But kudos to you for realising that now rather than later, and telling her AFTER you get back from your year abroad, cos it’s still almost a whole year away from now. Plus, I’m sure she’ll bear in mind that you’re doing this so you guys can remain good friends without bad habits and living styles getting on each other’s nerves!
I think it really depends on the friendship. My roommate from freshman year also happens to be my best friend. But I think that’s because we were roommates first and then became friends, rather than the other way around. Living situations are a lot trickier when they involve friends!
Oh that stinks. I completely understand how you feel, though. I think it’s great that you told your friend how you feel, as well. I hope that she understands where you’re coming from.
[...] that no drama resulted out of my senior year roommate situation. Thank [...]