Please Tell Me This Isn’t True
June 28th, 2011 | Categories: Relationships | 8 CommentsIf two past lovers can remain friends, it’s either they were never in love, or they still are.
I found this quote today while surfing the Internet and it was like it stabbed me in the heart. I’m going through a bit of turmoil in terms of my relationship/love life (as if it weren’t obvious), and to come across this quote right now, in the middle of all this upheaval, is… not the most reassuring. I’m not going to get into my situation or anything, but I need to know: is this true? Because I so desperately want it to be false, that it is possible to remain friends after everything, but… I’m not experienced enough with this in my own life to know whether it’s truly possible to remain friends with a past lover.
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Hi, I'm Manda. I'm a college student studying communications and languages. I like to read, shop, bake, and travel. I have a tendency to listen to my favorite songs on repeat for hours on end. Sometimes I catch myself thinking in a language other than English. 
Yes, this is true. It’s not necessarily that they’re still “in love” in love. But they definitely still care a lot about each other enough to not want to let go, despite both knowing that the relationship did not/will not work out.
And yes, it is very sad, and very painful, and I never ever want it to happen to me ever again.
I’ve observed many exes become great friends and remain that way, even when they both start dating other people. Whether they were in love in the first place is not my place to judge, but I tend to think that they were.
Biology is a difficult science because there are a million and one variables in each problem. I like to think that is something living is involved, anything is possible.
My break-up is fairly recent, and we’re still friends. I still love him, but I’m moving on. I don’t think it’s quite the same “in love” type of love. The friends thing might change as either of us find someone new. You just never know. I think the staying friends thing can work depending on the reason for the break-up, as well as the personalities of the people involved. For some, it might hurt too much to see their former flame with another person, so they won’t want to remain friends. Even if they love and care about each other. I’d say it’s possible to stay friends, but it’s not for everyone, and I don’t think it’s particularly reflective on whether they were never in love or are still in love. Trite quotes like that one can make you think, but it’s certainly not FACT.
Yeah…no. This is not unequivocally true, factual, etc. As Ang said above, it might be for some cases, but it is definitely not the rule. That’s a super-generic, overly simplistic quote that is far too “black and white” to really substantiate what it is saying. So don’t worry about it. ;)
I’m friends with past lovers. But the one that I was “in love” with… not so much. Because he’s still in love and I’m not? BUT at the same time, it’s also circumstantial. I think that if we met now, and he wasn’t in love anymore, we could totally be friends. I do think there is a period of time after a breakup in which friendship is impossible though. But like others said, nothing is applicable to every situation, every relationship, every person.
At this point in my life and the way that quote applies to me right now…I wholeheartedly agree and believe that they either are still in love or never were. But I also agree with everyone else and think there’s a period of time where it’s acceptable enough to let go and remain friendly.
Nobody should listen to me because right now my opinions of love are very…pessimistic lol
I dunno. :| It’s tough and I suppose it depends of the two people. If my husband and I were to split up… I could assume we would still be friends — because I honestly could not see myself just forgetting about him. But… I don’t see how it’d be possible for us to be friends with no feelings — just to let everything go and hang out as I would with my girlfriends? I dunno. It’s a toughie — I also think it depends on how long you and your significant other was together.
At first I was like “Quote? What quote?”. Then I saw the quote, and read, and was like…uh, I hope that’s not true, because I’m still good friends with one of my exes. But after my initial flipping out (about 27 seconds), I realized that the quote could be true or false, depending on the people and situation. Too many factors affect the course of the relationship, from dating to breaking up to remaining friends, that’s it’s hard to give a definite and absolute answer. No one can tell you the answer to the question except yourself, so if you think it’s false, then it is :)