In the two months of 2010 that have passed, I think I’ve learned more about how to detoxify my life than I did in the last eighteen years.
Gone are traitorous best friends. Gone are dirty lying ex-boyfriends that waffle between wanting to transition into becoming friends after the breakup and getting back together. Gone are all the relationships in my life that I have been hanging onto for far too long without practical reason.
I am a strong and independent woman who deserves care, respect, and honesty. If the people in my life can’t give me those things, then I don’t see why I should keep them around.
I know who I am, I know what I want, and I know how I want to live my life. If I hang onto all of these relationships that cause me nothing but pain and hurt and hold me back from achieving my full potential, I am not going to get anywhere in life.
I can’t let that happen. I won’t let that happen.
It’s time for me to finally free myself from the boundaries my ex-friends and ex-boyfriends have managed to set for me post-friendship/relationship breakup and cut them out of my life. I need to detoxify from the poisonous effects of maintaining relationships with these people. I refuse deal with other people’s crap anymore for the sake of sentimental reasons; it’s time to be practical and move on.
A girl will never forget the first boy she ever likes.
- He’s Just Not That Into You
I watched He’s Just Not That Into You recently and the above quote got me reminiscing about the first boy I ever had a crush on. It’s true; a girl never forgets. It doesn’t matter if the crush was in college, middle school, or even kindergarten. No matter when it happened, a girl always remembers.
My first crush was on a boy that was in my class in elementary school. He had blond hair and blue eyes and a wicked sense of humor that always made me laugh. Nothing ever came close to happening between us, though. He was charismatic; I was shy. He was popular; I was not. He was too well-noticed by everyone in our class and I was too soft-spoken to register on anyone’s radar.
When we entered middle school, we were separated by the fact that our last names began with letters on opposite ends of the alphabet. He liked another girl by then, and I had lost interest and was content with being friends, however loose the term might have been (we were really acquaintances at best by that point). Then I moved overseas and I never saw or heard from him again.
I looked him up on Facebook the other day as I was curious to see where he ended up after all of these years. He’s currently an engineering student at a prestigious university and, by all accounts, seems to be doing pretty well for himself. Somehow, I doubt we would recognize each other on the off chance we ever crossed paths. I am nothing like the girl I was when I was in elementary school, and something tells me he’s changed immensely since then as well.
Question of the Week: Do you remember the first person you ever liked?
We all have the potential to fall in love a thousand times in our lifetime. It’s easy. The first girl I ever loved was someone I knew in sixth grade. Her name was Missy; we talked about horses. The last girl I love will be someone I haven’t even met yet, probably. They all count. But there are certain people you love who do something else; they define how you classify what love is supposed to feel like. These are the most important people in your life, and you’ll meet maybe four or five of these people over the span of 80 years. But there’s still one more tier to all this; there is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of these loveable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really, want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.
- Chuck Klosterman
My feelings towards Valentine’s Day remain unchanged. But as the holiday is tomorrow, this quote struck a chord with me. Sometimes I think I have met the person that defines how I will perceive the idea and feeling of love for the rest of my life… but other times, I’m not so sure if that person is the person, if that makes sense.
At any rate, I completely agree with Chuck Klosterman’s sentiments on the matter. The most important people in your life will have the largest impact on you, and the people you love will change you forever.
