breakthesky.neti'll break the sky, for you and i are going nowhere.

When my boyfriend in high school and I broke up, I was devastated. I really wanted to work on becoming friends with the guy after we split up. Needless to say, in the first couple weeks following the breakup, he and I didn’t really cross paths all that much. I was beside myself – how could we be friends if we never saw each other anymore?

My mother told me that time apart was needed before we could be friends. She was right. Two years later, I now consider him to be one of my best friends from high school.

When one of my (now former) best friends in college betrayed me, I wanted to cut her out of my life and for everyone around me to do so as well. Obviously, that was a little irrational for me to expect of my friends to feel the same way towards her as I did. But I didn’t want to deal with her or to have her still be in my life anymore after what she did.

My mother told me that in time, the girl’s true colors would show and she would end up hurting everyone else in my group of friends, not just me. She was right. The girl crossed every line you can’t cross in a friendship and now my friends feel the same way about her that I do without me having to influence their feelings.

When my most recent ex briefly floated the idea of getting back together, I had no idea what to do. Part of me was willing to consider it as it seemed too rash to rule anything out immediately. But a bigger part of me was far more cautious as our breakup was really not one I’d like to ever repeat.

My mother told me that if he was really serious about setting things right between us, he’d win back my trust over time. She was right. Apparently he wasn’t all that serious about getting back together. Which is good, because I have no desire for him to be in my life anymore in any capacity whatsoever.

I’ve always known that my mother gives great advice, but each time I run to her for her words of wisdom I am always amazed by just how wise she is. I’m so incredibly lucky to have her in my life.

The best way of getting over someone is getting under someone else.
- Samantha Jones, Sex and the City

Words to keep in mind when trying to get over someone. If you can do the whole hooking-up-and-not-getting-emotionally-attached thing, it works!

(Having said that, I should really take my own advice. But I digress.)

In the two months of 2010 that have passed, I think I’ve learned more about how to detoxify my life than I did in the last eighteen years.

Gone are traitorous best friends. Gone are dirty lying ex-boyfriends that waffle between wanting to transition into becoming friends after the breakup and getting back together. Gone are all the relationships in my life that I have been hanging onto for far too long without practical reason.

I am a strong and independent woman who deserves care, respect, and honesty. If the people in my life can’t give me those things, then I don’t see why I should keep them around.

I know who I am, I know what I want, and I know how I want to live my life. If I hang onto all of these relationships that cause me nothing but pain and hurt and hold me back from achieving my full potential, I am not going to get anywhere in life.

I can’t let that happen. I won’t let that happen.

It’s time for me to finally free myself from the boundaries my ex-friends and ex-boyfriends have managed to set for me post-friendship/relationship breakup and cut them out of my life. I need to detoxify from the poisonous effects of maintaining relationships with these people. I refuse deal with other people’s crap anymore for the sake of sentimental reasons; it’s time to be practical and move on.