Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

Breakeven

March 7th, 2011 by Manda | 2 Comments | Filed in Relationships

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
‘Cause [he's] moved on while I’m still grieving
And when a heart breaks, no it don’t breakeven, even, no
- Breakeven, The Script

I can say with confidence that the best part of me is not him, despite the fact that he is a huge part of my life, but that doesn’t make the situation any less painful. Or complicated.

It should be fairly straightforward – boy breaks girl’s heart, girl moves on. But life is never that neat and tidy. Or simple.

Tom: Did you ever even have a boyfriend?
Summer: Of course.
Tom: What happened, why didn’t they work out?
Summer: What always happens? Life.
- (500) Days of Summer

It’s one of those things where you know you deserve better but you’re afraid you won’t find better. So you settle, and you hate yourself and the boy for it, but you can’t bring yourself to do anything else.

This is what defines “pathetic.”

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Valentine’s Day: 2011 Edition

February 14th, 2011 by Manda | 5 Comments | Filed in Relationships

Sometimes, we just have to be happy with what people can offer us. Even if it’s not what we want, at least it’s something.
- Sarah Dessen

I’ll forget the past and I won’t worry about the future. I’ve decided to just live the moment with you.
- Unknown

Even if we never talk again, please remember that I’m forever changed by who you are and what you meant to me.
- Unknown

Happy Valentine’s Day.

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The Definition of “Hooking Up”

February 13th, 2011 by Manda | 7 Comments | Filed in Question of the Week, Relationships

This is something I’ve always wondered – how do people define the term “hooking up”?

I looked it up on Urban Dictionary to see if there was a general consensus about what the term defines, and this was the first definition I found:

Hooking up: An incredibly ambiguous phrase that drives me absolutely insane when people use it.
Example: John hooked up with Mary. (So what did they actually do? Did they meet at the park? Did they talk? Or did they duke like viagra-injected rabbits? Who knows…)

In junior high, “hooking up” essentially just meant making out. But as I got older and my friends and I got more experienced with all the possibilities of the definition of “hooking up,” we never adapted a new term. Let it be making out, messing around, or sex – no matter what it is, it’s always described as “hooking up.”

Sometimes, though, my friends and I clarify what exactly happened while hooking up. Take a conversation I had last night, for example:

Friend: I can’t go to that club tonight. So-and-so will be there and I don’t want to see him.
Me: Oh? Did you hook up with him or something?
Friend: Yeah. But we only made out. Nothing more.

In that case, what hooking up meant was crystal clear. But more often than not, I’ve found myself using “hooking up” as a blanket term for my experiences. I think it’s the safest term to use when you have to ‘fess up about something but don’t want to be in a position of kissing and telling. The ambiguity is a godsend, sometimes; if a group of girlfriends are insistent on finding out what happened, saying that you “hooked up” is enough for them to know something happened. The rest can be left to the imagination.

Question of the Week: How do you define “hooking up”? Has the definition of the term changed over time for you? Do you say you hooked up with someone, or do you use more specific terms?

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