Dear Person Who Keeps Pulling the Fire Alarm¹,

I like to get a full night’s worth of sleep on the weekends. Unfortunately, your tendency to pull the fire alarm at some ungodly hour when I am fast asleep is really starting to be a problem when it comes to me getting uninterrupted sleep. I’m pretty sure it’s not just me you’re bothering; you’re rapidly becoming a hated enemy of three residence halls as we all have to evacuate whenever you decide to pull the alarm. I hope you can count, because that’s a lot of people to piss off.

I don’t really care why you have such an affinity for pulling the fire alarm at 3a.m. Maybe you’re pledging a fraternity/sorority, maybe you get a rush whenever you hear the blare of a fire alarm, maybe you keep forgetting that foil does not belong in a microwave when you want to heat up food to appease your cravings for a midnight snack. Whatever it is, stop pulling the fire alarm. I’m serious. You’re an ass for doing so.

Not only do you force three residence halls to evacuate in the early hours of the morning, but you’re also making us stand outside for prolonged amounts of time until the all-clear is sounded and we are allowed back inside. This isn’t as much of a problem in the summer, but it is most definitely an issue in the winter, particularly as there are still mountains of snow on campus from our recent blizzards. I’d rather not catch pneumonia or bronchitis because of your stupidity, thanks.

I suppose I should be grateful for your consideration, as you did pull the fire alarm in the early a.m. on Sunday morning the last two weekends. It could be worse, such as if you pulled the fire alarm on a week night during the next two weeks, as midterms are fast approaching…

Now is probably a good time to state that if you even think of pulling the fire alarm in the middle of the night during the week of midterms, I will have your head. Consider yourself warned.

1. I realize that the chance of it being the same person pulling the fire alarm on multiple occasions is very slim, but it is easier to direct this rant at one individual rather than a group. [↩]

Tags: dorm life, people suck, rants

When I live at home, I have to deal with my asshat neighbor, although the issues with said neighbor only really are a problem in the summer. I assumed that I’d only have neighborly troubles at home, but since the semester started three weeks ago, it looks as though a bitter dispute, at the very least, is bound to break out between my roommate and I with our neighbors¹.

The root of the issue is noise. It’s a pretty common problem in dorm-style living, and usually noise issues are resolved by knocking on the door of the noisy room and asking its occupants to quiet down. And most of the time, that’s enough to take care of the situation, and it keeps the Resident Assistant (RA) out of the situation and there’s no documentation of the incident to go on anyone’s record. Except when the noise is at such a level when you can clearly hear lyric-for-lyric what song the neighbors are listening to and they speak at such a volume that you know one of the girls lost a hairpin and a boy who was hanging out in the room found it by searching under her bed, there is a problem.

My roommate and I have both asked our neighbors to be quiet on separate occasions multiple times in the past two weeks². We have always been mindful to ask them to lower the noise level during “quiet hours”³ even though they are generally loud all the time. Last night, however, was the final straw. When we asked them to be quiet, a boy in the room yelled a slur against my roommate after she had taken barely two steps away from the room. In response, one of my neighbors started making insulting (and false) comments about my roommate and me.

This, more than anything, is what is prompting my roommate and me to take further action about this situation. It is no longer adequate to just ask them to be quiet and hope that they respect our request (for the record, they usually don’t). My roommate and I are discussing our options and will not hesitate to file a formal complaint about this situation if necessary. It’s not just about the noise anymore; it’s about the disrespect and rudeness. We have never made slurs against or insulted our neighbors, much less done anything that warrants that behavior targeted at us, and we will not tolerate it.

1. Two new girls moved into the room next door as the old occupants moved out at the end of last semester. [↩]
2. It’s only been three weeks into the semester and we decided to let the noise slide during the first week back. [↩]
3. Quiet hours are from 11pm – 8am weekdays, 1am – 10am weekends. [↩]

Tags: dorm life, people suck, rants

There is this one girl who lives on the floor that is connected to mine who smells disgusting. Honestly, I’ve never met anyone that smelled even remotely that bad in my life. What’s worse is that not only does she smell, but her stench lingers around for hours on end. I’ve never seen her properly, but I definitely know where she’s been because I always find myself gagging over putrid air in the common areas of my floor.

It’s not fair to the rest of the floor to have to put up with her smell. I can’t go into the lounge/kitchen, bathroom, laundry room or even hallway if she’s been there recently because her smell sticks around for hours and I find myself trapped in my room. Sometimes I arm myself with a can of Febreze and spray the hall area outside my room to combat the stench, which is somewhat effective, but unless I start buying Febreze shares that’s not really a viable long-term option.

Besides, it’s just plain unhealthy to smell that bad because that means there is a serious lack of hygiene going on. When you live in dorm housing and have to share all the facilities and common areas, it’s common courtesy to maintain good hygiene and cleanliness. There are perfectly acceptable showers, toilets, and laundry machines for everyone to use. Considering the girl doesn’t actually even live on my floor (she lives on a floor that’s connected via a bridge-type thing) I don’t think it’s too much to ask for her to maintain proper hygiene if she insists on using another floor’s facilities!

Regular bathing is an option in a college dorm. I hope this girl discovers that fact soon without the RA having to intervene…

On an un-related (and much happier) note, thank you to all who nominated me for Best Teen Weblog at the 2010 Bloggies!

Tags: dorm life, people suck, rants